Hello everyone! Quick update…Mayo Clinic visit went exceptionally well. Dr. McLaughlin and her staff were incredible. Discussed ALL of my diagnostic testing with her today, she confirmed once again that I am indeed a Stage 2A…at this moment. Depending on my biopsy results on Thursday, this may change my staging to a 2B. Whew, I am forever grateful. Praise God! So thankful that he allowed me to “catch” this silent killer, evil tumor AKA breast cancer so early.
I have often wondered, “What if I would have caught this much earlier?” “How long has this been growing inside of me?” However, all these what-if’s and unanswered questions are completely irrelevant at this point. The Lord allowed me to find it and follow [Lindsey’s] instincts to have the lump evaluated. All praise to God. I am sincerely thankful to Him.
The following portion of this blog will be answers to some of the questions I have been asked lately. (Feel free to leave questions in the comment section–I will answer them in a blog).
How/Why are you so at peace and handling this so well?
Honestly, I am at peace because I know that this is all apart of God’s plan for me. Over the past few months, I have been praying to the Lord to humble me and to allow me to fully engage myself to Him. Well, you know what they say…walks in the valley bring you closer to the Lord than staying on the peaks of the mountain. Now, I by no means believe that God caused this or allowed this to happen to me. Disappointment, sadness, disillusionment, and sorrows all entered the world when SIN entered the world. Thankfully, Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice and cleansed us all of those sins.
“It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way” by Lysa Terkeurst has been a complete blessing to me during this time period. She has a way with words and her interpretation and explanation of God’s word is incredible. [Check it out]
Why are you having chemotherapy before the mastectomies?
Well, I cannot completely confirm that chemotherapy before the mastectomies is the ultimate plan. I will meet with the medical oncologist at Mayo on Monday. However, with discussing this matter today with the surgical oncologist–chemo before surgery will help treat any lymph nodes that may be effected by the cancer and ultimately prevent the need for a lymph node dissection. Why do I want to avoid a lymph node dissection? Well, it will eliminate the chance of lymphedema. (Unsure of what lymphedema is, GOOGLE it…not pretty. LOL). It does not guarantee that the lymph nodes that may have cancer cells present (if confirmed by biopsy on Thursday) will completely be eradicated but there is a high chance of success being that I am HER2+. Which leads to the next question…
What is HER2+ and why is this such a great thing?
HER2-positive breast cancer is a breast cancer that tests positive for a protein called human epidermal growth factor receptor 2 (HER2), which promotes the growth of cancer cells.
(Mayo Clinic, 2019)
HER2+ status is very exciting. “Treatments that specifically target HER2 are very effective. These treatments are so effective that the prognosis for HER2-positive breast cancer is actually quite good”.(Mayo Clinic, 2019)
Why are you seeing a fertility specialist and why are you doing oocyte/embryo cryopreservation?
Well, as you all know I must undergo chemotherapy and possibly radiation. The chemotherapy can cause my eggs to “age” or even become “ineffective” per say. So, in order to ensure that I can have little spawns of me running around one day–it is necessary to go forward with hyper-stimulation of the ovaries in order to aspirate future babies (eggs). The reason Chason and I decided to go forward with the embryo cryopreservation is because the embryo is more successful in terms of “surviving the thawing-out process” than the eggs alone. [So, now he is stuck with me for real, hahaha.] Shout out to Cristi, Dr. Brown’s IVF Nurse Coordinator, for writing me a prescription for a 1 carat diamond ring, dispense ONLY one, with no refills. LOL!
[However, if any of you are struggling with infertility—I highly recommend Dr. Brown’s Fertility Clinic in JAX. They were incredible. Super-friendly. Very informative and so thorough.]
Hopefully, my egg retrieval will happen the week of November 3 and chemo shortly after! Woohooo!
What was the hardest part of receiving your diagnosis?
Honestly the hardest part of receiving my diagnosis was determining how I would tell my immediate family and Chason. I was afraid that they would hear the word cancer and immediately panic. I was obviously very upset and devastated that I am facing breast cancer at such a young age. (Especially, when I constantly hear–“Oh, you are so young”). LOL–I KNOW! BUT, I was upset and devastated because I was afraid of the inability to treat my new diagnosis. I just began praying to Jesus–“Please God, let this be early staged breast cancer and a promising prognosis.” Obviously, I told my immediate family and Chason–we, of course, all shared tears together but we immediately became ready to fight.
So, here is where I am about to get very personal…The absolute hardest part of the diagnosis for me was processing the fact that I will lose my hair. (The not shaving my legs and underarms for a while is kind of nice, LOL) So, many of us, especially females find our identity where? Our hair. Think about it…how many of us have spent many Saturday mornings at the earliest hour “getting our hair done”, right Cara? LOL. Or how much money have we invested on the latest color melt? Or balayage? Well, I have spent much time and money in my hair–UGGH!! LOL. All jokes aside, I have always placed much importance on my appearance. I will admit that at times I have been quite vain and I have a high regard for the outer appearance. So, when I was advised that, “Yes, you will lose your hair.” I. WAS. ABSOLUTELY. DEVASTATED! I MEAN DEVASTATED. I CRIED FOR DAYS! I was so overwhelmed with the fact that I would have such drastic physical changes…not only with my hair, but cosmetic changes to my breasts, and of course the “cancer patient” title or the “she looks sickly” comments.
But, the longer I prayed and the more that I have read God’s word. I found that my identity is not in my hair, my looks, or even my breasts. My identity is in the Lord. He defines me, no one else.
As I mentioned above, over the past few months I have prayed to the Lord and asked Him to humble me and to strengthen my relationship with Him. Well guys, I don’t know if you have ever been very bluntly told that you will lose your hair, you will have great physical changes, and you may be very sick while receiving treatment–BUT that is so very HUMBLING! I mean knock-you-to-your-knees humbling. My pride, gone. My arrogance, gone (except for when it comes to the Patriots, your team still sucks, LOL, kidding, not really :P) Seriously though, it is very humbling guys. However, I am so excited to begin this journey. YAY, for wigs and turbans. Luckily, I will be starting chemo in the fall/winter. I look forward to being a resource to many and hopefully being a beacon of light to all women. Not only women who are facing a life-changing diagnosis, but also to women who deal with insecurities and feeling unworthy. YOU ARE SO WORTHY. YOUR OUTER APPEARANCE DOES NOT DEFINE YOU! God only looks at our hearts–we should focus on having a beautiful, flawless heart–not a beautiful, flawless outward appearance.
Below are a few pics from today. Shoutout to Lindsey Purvis for the awesome t-shirts.
So blessed with such a great support system. Love my family and Chason to pieces!
❤
ANNA.COURTNEY 